Goodbye Preparations

Every time I tell someone I am moving, I am inevitably confronted with “You’re moving to Troy? WHY?!” Last week I actually met someone that was from Troy, who upon hearing about my move told me I was making the biggest mistake of my life. Thanks for the support, ya jerk.

My life right now is a sad montage of “lasts”. Last dinner at Xi’an Famous Foods, last walk down East 9^th Street, last visit to Sew Good Cleaners (who are fabulous by the way), last chai from Mud, last everything. Every time I perform one of these “lasts”, sad music plays in my head and I get a bit misty eyed thinking about the life I am leaving behind. Dramatic? Maybe.

Saying goodbye to life in New York City has been a lot harder than I thought it would be. All the things I used to hate about New York are now tinted by rose-colored glasses and soaked in nostalgia. Instead of the panic and terror that I used to feel when encountering a cockroach, I am now only able to recall the good times and my Raid-aided triumphs of cockroach decimation.  

It is important to note that if you had talked to me three months ago, all I could do was talk about how excited I was to move out of this city. Now as the end of my New York City life is rapidly approaching, I am scared of moving on.

Someone told me that making a list of the things that I will not miss about New York would make me feel better about moving. I need this reality check, so here goes:

What I won’t miss about New York City:

• The smell. The smell that is a combination of rotting garbage, animal waste, human waste, and stale beer which linger and ferment even after the streets have been cleaned. I will not miss that daily assault on my olfactory senses as I walk outside.
• Working in Time Square. I have had the misfortune of working in this metropolitan wasteland for the past year; the dearth of decent lunch options and the shuffling crowds of tourists are enough to make you go crazy. Worst of all are the off-brand Sesame Street characters who litter the streets coercing random passersby for paid photos. I should not see three different raggedy Elmos each time I get a cup of coffee from Starbucks.
• People who do not accommodate others on crowded trains. I get it; you want to stand by the door for an easy exit/a place to lean. But guess what, it is rush hour and you’re not the only person on the train. Sorry buddy, but you’re going to have to suck it up and move towards the center of the car so everyone else can get to work on time. Blocking the door and getting upset when I bump into you doesn’t help the situation and is pretty selfish. If you don’t like other people touching you, take a cab.

Actually that does make me feel a lot better. New York, I love you, but you need to get it together.