This past weekend was the big move to Troy. I’ll be honest with you; I didn’t want to do it. I wanted to call the whole thing off and hide out in my apartment. But I didn’t and to be honest, I don’t know if I am happy or sad. I guess I won’t know for a little while, which scary, but okay.
On Friday night, I called my cousin to talk me off the ledge. Luckily for me, she recently moved across the country to move in with her boyfriend (what a crazy random happenstance). After reassuring me that she almost canceled the move about three times, she gave me a great piece of advice:
When you move to be with your significant other, you have to realize that this is a decision that was made by the both of you for the both of you. Sure, the person that did the relocating is making a more obvious change, but this change is for the collective “you,” not just one person. Even harder, for those that did the moving, when you are upset, you can’t throw out the “I moved here for you” card, no matter how much you want to. Let’s be real, I’m not perfect and I know I’ll do this (probably more than once; Gavin, please forgive me in advance), but hopefully now I won’t do this quite as much as I would have.
Now that I have moved my stuff, I am now able to speak with great authority on the logistical and emotional aspects of moving in with a significant other. Specifically, the kind of moving that involves quitting your job and leaving your city to build a new life. Here’s what I have learned in the scant seventy-two hours that my belongings have been in Troy:
It’s okay to be sad about moving. You are coming to grips with the fact that all of your spatial knowledge about your street/town/city is no longer needed, and let’s not even get into that whole leaving your friends and family and job bit, because then I would really start to cry. Now you have to start from scratch and figure out new answers to the logistical quandaries of: where the dry cleaners are, finding the best grocery story, figuring out how to get home without getting (too) lost, etc.
Moving pro-tip: Take measurements of your door frame and/or stairwell before you move rather than winging it on the day of. This simple step will help you avoid the crushing disappointment you will inevitably feel when your favorite piece of furniture does not fit in your new home. I have two pieces of furniture, a bed and a dresser. Gavin and my stepfather only managed to get my bed’s box spring up Gavin’s very narrow stairway after accidentally breaking the window frame. My beloved dresser however, did not fit up the stairs, no matter how hard they tried. Instead of behaving a like a rational adult who would have figured this out prior, I decided that a melt down was more appropriate. Classy.