After an incredibly long hiatus, I am back. Part of it was laziness but part of it was apprehension about what I would say about my new home, my new job, my new living arrangement. I don’t want to be the girl that has only negative things to say about her experience. Right now, I don’t feel adjusted; I am lost all the time.

Every time I think I have something figured out, the fastest route to work, the best grocery store, a good yoga studio, something happens that fucks it all up. At least the trains in NY are on a timed schedule – I knew that if I left my apartment at exactly 8:40 am, I could catch the uptown N train at 8th St and be at work at exactly 8:59. That’s not how things work here – I think that I am leaving with plenty of time for work and there is a traffic jam for some unknown reason. It does not make sense to me and it frustrates me that I can’t get my morning commute timed as precisely as I used to, which is irritating.

It is incredible how much of a culture shock moving 2.5 hours north has been. I have never owned a car in my life before this month, and even after a month of commuting, I am still a ball of nerves whenever I merge onto 787. Going from the world of New York where almost everything is open 24/7 (including your job) to Albany where Sundays are an enforced day of rest is hard to wrap my mind around – what do you mean I can’t have Ali Baba’s baklava at 3:00 pm on a Sunday! What kind of monster denies me my Sunday treat?!

I am going to the city on Friday for a friend’s birthday and I am so excited that I could run to New York – that is how bad I want to be there. I want to walk around forever, I want to eat all the Asian food that I possibly can, I want to feel comfortable, and most of all I want to feel at home. I always feel slightly out of place here, I am always a shade or two outside of normal; either in my dress, my speech, my mannerisms, my attitude. Maybe I am just projecting that because I don’t feel at home yet, but I do feel like I stick out a bit for one reason or another.

Because I have made a New Year’s resolution to be more positive, I will end this post on a high note. It is convenient to go grocery shopping with a car. The fact that I don’t have to lug 50 lbs of groceries from 14th and 4th to 9th and 2nd and then up 4 flights of stairs is incredibly convenient, albeit dangerous. Because I have a full-size shopping cart, a car with an ample trunk, and no ridiculous line to contend with I am now buying practically everything that Trader Joes sells.  Delicious, but dangerous.

Again, this is only month one, and I know I will feel less lost (literally) as time passes. I am just looking forward to the day that I don’t have to use my GPS to get to the grocery store.

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